As I sit to write, my mind is buzzing with thoughts from the excitement of the day. I am dying to share them with you. But I pause. Something is missing. I get up and head to the kitchen. Why are you not surprised? After all, this blog is all about food! I turn on the stove under a small saucepan and open the fridge and grab the milk. I know exactly what will hit the spot. I will make kadak chai. I learned to make it today after a lovely potluck lunch and now I am craving it. You see, today, over lunch, I found sisterhood.
As I have gotten older, I have come to appreciate the importance of sisterhood- the kinship and closeness to a group of women who are delighted in each other’s successes and anchor each other in rough times. This is not a blog on gender politics, so I will not get into a heated argument on the topic, but I want to highlight the power of community that women share when we get together. Men have long had brotherhood gatherings, be it at coffee shops, secret societies, bars or in religious places. Women have too. And when we meet for lunch, we talk and laugh about everything under the sun.
The term “Ladies who lunch” has come to be derogatory, describing women who have the time to socialize -expensively in fancy restaurants- as pampered housewives with nothing else to do. I am taking back the term and empowering it. I propose that ladies must indeed lunch, whether we are pampered housewives, business executives, working mothers or politicians.
The sisterhood keeps us grounded, collected and connected – important elements for a happy and balanced existence. Lunch dates are not only for busy executives, singles or women without children. Lunch dates are for all of us. You do not need a fancy restaurant and it does not have to be a lavish meal catered by an outsider. While there is always a time and place for a restaurant, there is nothing like a home-cooked dish. Add a personal touch by making the food yourself, but do not do all the work. A potluck lunch allows you to divide the cooking and each person can bring a dish she is comfortable making. At the end of the day, you may even learn a new dish!
Today at lunch, I learned to make kadak chai. Yes, I am waxing sentimental over a cup of tea, but only because it is heartfelt. I learned from a lovely local lady, who, even though I had just met, was my soul sister, as well as the other two sisters who accompanied her. I also became Aunty to a lovely little girl who has been brought up with old-fashioned manners by a very fashionable mother. The lady who brought us together is the big sister of us all.
I must admit that I have found sisters before. The original one from Jamaica and another from Dominica who I met through her, and though we are far by distance, the kinship triumphs. There is always a champion sister who acts as the de facto cause agent for the establishment of sisterhood. I have also met others here. Women transcending all borders who are a treat to spend quality time with and though some occasions are not centred around food, since we all have to eat, a meal is a great setting to bring us together.
In real sisterhood, age, religion, race, distance and nationality blur. We find commonness in spirit; we are defenders of individual and communal inspiration.
I am sure we all left our lunch date today liking different things. Some may have the memory of the host’s baked fish that was delicately cooked and fresh from the sea. Others may be reminiscing about the nicely spiced mutton curry that one of the sisters brought, someone may even be thinking about my own chocolate cake with whipped cream frosting. Who knows? As I sip my kadak chai, I know for sure that the food was the medium that brought us together, but it is the promise of sisterhood that will bring smiles to all our faces and cheer to all our hearts until we meet again.
What joys have you found with women over lunch? Do share your own experiences. We want to hear from you. Coming soon, a step-by-step picture post on how to make Kadak Chai.
This is such a timely post Kari. I am feeling quite lonely, which I do think is part of being new in a land far, far away from home. I do miss my girlfriends back home. A really good, good friend of mine even cooks lunch for me whenever I visit her home.
Aww thanks Didi. Yes, even when we are married, we cannot neglect the meeting of women friends. I know how you feel about being lonely in a foreign country, especially one packed with transient expats et al. And yes, sisters can sense even those things unsaid like cook that meal especially for you to make you feel special. This article was originally published in my weekly column for the Khaleej Times and thought I would share with our blog audience. Thankfully my husband is man enough to not feel threatened by large doses of females 🙂
Perhaps the female energy is very much welcome since there is too much testosterone in the kitchen? 🙂
LOL… funny you should mention that. Just recently I had to back out of my own kitchen when I saw how Chef Lij was using the foods and pots and pans as if he has his own personal 24 hour steward 🙂
lovly article hi am munas sister also 😉
the local lady who made the kadak chat
You look so much like Umera! You are such a beautiful family-inside and out! May you continue to be kind to all whom you come across. Sisterhood is a powerful phenomenon. Together we can change the world!
It’s always great to bond with girls who you instantly feel close to.
We lack such relationships since everyone leads a busy life and barely stops to think they need a breather.
These gatherings do make a difference!
Yes Arwa, soul sisters are hard to find but essential to keep! I find that the bonds are so strong that it can be years between visits and when you catch up, it’s as if not even a day has gone by!
I loved reading about the joys of finding sisterhood over lunch. Inspiring me to hunt for some time over lunchtime myself. BTW, can’t get over your kadak chai:)
It is so important that we find the time ever so often to spend with women who build us up and who we also build up. Here’s to girl power!
Cheers or should I say Luncheers:)))
Here’s to sisterhood!
So true about the sisterhood Kari – more so in an expat world like Dubai.
Yes Sandy- where it is even harder to find friendships that are really authentic and more than surface.
Love it Kari! SisterQueens are priceless to have. Blessings
Thanks Sis. Yes- in so many ways. Thanks for your support, always.
My Soul Sister! How exactly did I miss this one?!!! looking at the date, I was pigging out in Spain at that time looool! Enjoyed every word, and linked it on my friendship post :))